Decimation Diet

In Uncategorized on February 28, 2010 at 10:00 am

The Roman army once used a practice known as decimation to discipline units refusing to follow orders.  Cruel and effective, the technique involved killing one randomly chosen soldier in ten.  My wife challenged me to a mass reduction duel in early February.  The challenge?   Lose 10% by June 1.  As part of my battle to save the English language from its speakers, I would like to reclaim the word “decimation” by using it to mean a reduction by 1/10th rather than as a synonym for “obliterated”.  I would like to still exist at the end of this challenge, I would just like a little less of me.  It is now the last day of February, and I am happy to report that the decimation diet is working.

We are finding that when challenged to not eat so damn much we turn to smaller quantities of higher quality foods than what we would normally eat.  Instead of a box of macaroni and cheese, I might eat cottage cheese and an apple.  Rather than eating an entire frozen pizza in one sitting, I might eat three slices and a salad.  Instead of ordering a double quarter pounder super sized value meal, I might just duct tape a two pound dumbell to my spare tire, bypassing the entire digestive process.  Speaking of spare tires, mine is no longer a cushy Michelin Man but is now more like the skinny donut hidden in the floor of a late ’80s hatchback.

A side benefit of providing a better example to our children is in effect as well.  Our boy has been a moderately picky eater and we have often commented on how he does not like many fruits and vegetables, but I have noticed him taking more interest and trying nibbles when he catches me munching on a stalk of celery or contact juggling an orange.  I have to admit it is a little creepy to see an open bag of M&M’s slowly decay on the counter over the course of a week rather than be gobbled up as an afterthought, but perhaps the lingering candy is being decimated in solidarity with our mass reduction goals rather than being obliterated.

  1. […] Decimation Diet was such a good idea that we have been using the same concept for other areas of our lives. […]

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